So close no matter how far; couldn't be much more from the heart

This is my last entry in this journal...if you want in on my new journal...leave a comment and I'll consider you...if I haven't ALREDY added you that is.

peace

Today is the first day in which I will start to say my goodbye's. I'm going on a picnic today with my love child, Danielle, and tomorrow I'm hanging out with David. It's scary to think this is going to be the last time I will see them for a long while. But aside from the scarieness...it's mostly sad. It's sad that we are all growing up, moving away, and growing apart. It's sad that one of my best friends didn't want to say goodbye to me and is already gone out of my life forever. It's sad that I'm done with high school and moving on to the next stage of my life...life itself. It's sad that my childhood is over.

But enough about being depressed, I need to think of the good things. Like today! I'm going on a picnic and we're having "roast-a-sheer" chicken, market basket bread with butter, and clear choice! It doesn't really get any better.

Later todayy I MUST finish m online research, though. G-ROSS.

peace

Today I woke up, watched The Golden Girls(like I do EVERYday), finished downloading shit onto my ipod while talking to Riss, and then wrote my damned paper for my honors class. Fuck summer reading!!! Erg...it was hard too because I was stressed about it not being good enough for college...but I think it's ok. It just needs to be proof-read a couple of times...hehe. After I finished I decided to go get some money from my mom and go do some more college shopping. So I went to Staples and got a dry-erase board, scissors, a stapler, a tape dispencer thing, a planner, shit like that. Then I went to Barnes N' Nobles and got a Dictionary/Thesaurus, and finally walked over to Office Max and got those tihngs for laptops to save shit on...like a floppy disk. (I'm SO computer illiterate)

Later on I went running with Brian from his house down and around the cemetary and stuff. And we saw a punch of people...haha Dolly stopped in the middle of the road to chat with me as I was running. After I had a cheeseburger back at his house we then took a walk down to the cemetary for shits, really. Then we just chilled and talked about college classes and Market Basket(*gag*)

That's pretty much my day. It's really starting to hit me that I'm LEAVING next Friday...it came so fast. I'm no really nervous for school itself...just packing all my shit and physically moving...and for my summer reading stuff to be done and be good. OMG COLLEGE!!!

peaced

I woke up today on the wrnog side of the bed to begin with because I woke up at 9:18ish and that means that I missed the first episode of Golden Girls. I was upset to say the least. But I wouldn't've even been upset if I had just slept through it...but I woke up because some guy from Yvone's Nails kept calling and asking for someone named Nick...*grumble*

So I go downstairs and watch the second episode and I'm freezing my ass off because my house is an ice box. And I was feeling like crap...I was scuzzy and my nose was stuffy and I could hardly breathe...ick. So while feeling like a bag of asses, I finished reading another of my three summer reading books(vomit) while taking a nap in the middle. I then called my dad because I was craving something cold and fruity and I wanted a smoothie from Dunkin Donuts...but he was in Athol and said N.O. So I decided the best thing for me to do was shower...then I played with my ipod and downloaded more music...yay!

Then i went to work and it was awful and I don't feel like telling the story again...but basically some bitch that went through my line almost made me cry because she was dropping the F-bomb and what not...*grrrrr*

ANYWAYS...I then went to Brian's and we celebrated Lola's birthday and then went for a run. And we discovered that Jackie needs her glasses when watching T.V. because she thought "DET" was "MT"....yup.

peace


P.S. I also got the shit scared out of me while leaving Brian's house...but it was just Brian running up behind me...but I started crying because I thought it was a strange man that was going to kill me...yeah that's it. I love you!

I hate allergies...I'm allergic to EVERYTHING! I swear! It's driving me nuts! I'm so sick of being...SICK...all year fucking round! ARG!

Nothing much to report...I made corn-on-the-cob tonight or me, my parents and Brian. Which really isn't saying much...I just boiled some water. But he's coming back to MB on Saturday and working wiht me on the register racks!!! YAY!!! I think that's subconsciously the only reason why I never got another job. I had a couple of opportunities too. But I wanted to stay in hopes that he would come back...and now he's back. :D.

And then later we had massive amounts of Chef Boyardi Beef Ravioli...that's about it.

peace

I feel so awful today...my left eye is swollen. It's because all my bloodvessels are popped. And I still have to go to work. Disgusting. The only good thing that has happened all day is that I downloaded the theme song from The Golden Girls...I know, I know...I'm officially obsessed. I think I did it because I was so torn about sleeping through my daily dose yesterday. Two episodes every morning, bitches.

Also, my jaw feels like it's trying to detach itself from me. I've been popping 400mg of dvil every 4 hours and it still hurts. Surgery, here I come.

ANYWAYS... Cass called Assumption today and they won't let us see our dorms yet. I'm irritated.

That's all really.

peace

I realized today one of things that I liked so much about dancing...with Tami in particular:

It was the mini Yoga lessons...at the end of a stretch or class(especially at teh summer camps) we'd all be sitting down slowly stretching and she would put soothing, slow music on and talk to us. She'd tell us to breathe and stretch and it was so relazing and comforting...I miss it.

Why am I going into work simply to clean 1 register rack?

peace

I woke up at 5:35 this moring because I had to o into work at 6:30, BOO!! So I decorated for a bit..and now I'm getting ready to take a shower.

Yesterday I had choclate-chip pancakes for breakfast...you're jealous. And I played 1 for 2 with the coolest people ever...I love you guys!!!

School is so close now...gross!

p.s. new e-mail: saucychic87@comcast.net

peace

Woke up this morning at 10:40 (I love summer vaca)only to eat some brunch, get ready and head off to work. So I get to work and they put me on 1 cause Jackie is the new MBB now that Nichole is gone. Thanks for passing the torch! So anyways, my printer wont cut teh receipts so they move me down to 4 but Larry brings with me the "12 items or less" sign (which no customer reads). So after some customer is telling me about this pedofile whos walking aorund the store, i move back onto 1 because its miraculously fixed. So blah blah nothing interesting happens until this little old woman comes in from my church:

ok, now for everyone to fullly understand this i need to be as precise in all the details as possible.

ok, so this lady comes through my line and her order totals $6.06. First, she hands me four dollars in quarters and tells me she wants to just get rid of her change. Everyone with me so far?
ok, so its $6.06 and i now have four dollars. she then hands me a $20 along with six pennies. so in total from the woman i have $24.06. her original total is $6.06. Now if Im not mistaken, her change would be $18.00. So when my drawer opens and i get her change, i hand her bacl a ten, a five, and three ones. Eighteen? Yeaup.
i hand her teh change and give the typical "Thank you, have a nice day" when i notice that she doesnt appear to be going anywhere. so i stop. she looks at me and asks, "Wheres the four dollars?" Apparently eighteen just isnt striking her fancy. Then she says "You were supposed to take teh six out of the twenty, thats sixteen." I restrain from laughter as I explain that its actually fourteen. She then says "Then wheres the other four dollars?" I say, well, the fourteen plus the four dollars is eighteen, which is what I gave her. She Then looks at the money in her hand and says "Wheres the fourteen dollars from the twenty?" I sigh heavily as i take back the ten and the five from her and say, its right here. She looks at me as if im the dumbest human and says, "THATS fifteen." No shit, lady. i say yes, but its fourteen, plus one...which with the other three ones accounts for the four dollars in quarters. Utter perplexion. She continues the argument further until she finally leaves claiming that she'll "figure it out at home."

The people who shop at Market Basket are trully unbelievable. They are their own species.

After work I came home, showered, did some summer reading(vomit) and went over Brians to play with some dry ice that he brought home from work. We threw some in the pool and giggled and it sublimed and bubbled vigorously. hehe. Then we went for a run and jumped in the newly carbonated pool...then we watched a 9/11 conspiracy documentary which actually has me convinced that 9/11- the two towers, the pentagon...all of it- was set up by none other than teh US government in order to promote the Bush campaign and start a war. But enough about my political views...on to adventure!

peace

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

Well...it's been over a year and I finally have the internet again.

What's new to update you all with? Nothing really. I need a new job, but that's not particularly new.

Summer is going well. I also finally purchased Assumption sweats that I've been DYING to buy. Damn them. And damn them for not finishing my dorm yet!!!

I finally got a facebook. Yay, internet! Well, actually I don't even have the internet but that's hardly the point.

I learned how to do laundry today...as unexciting as that may sound to some of you.

Nothing else really.

peace

So today I had my last two REAL exams, anatomy and ap physics...they actually werent that bad...although Mr. Moores was confusing as fuck. there were 91 questions on the test, but we only had to answer 80 of them...come to find out about half way through the test that numbers 51-60 are missing...WTF!!! But we forced him to make up 10 more questions on the spot. teeheehee. Physics was retarded...enough said.

Afterwards we had rehearsal...also retarded. I HATE the class song!!! The music is amazing but the lyrics are absolutely horrible!!! But whatever...Im over it. After that the crew went and got our NHS chords and went up to Mr. Whittemores room for the ice cream party...it was good. M&Ms this year.

Then I got a call from matthew mello and got an invite to a picnic...sweet deal. So me and Riss just got back from tanning...and we are making her home made brownies and then are heading on over to lay in the sun for a few hours with our pimp daddy.

Tonight is the interclass relays...I havent run since...November. Ewww.

peace

I cantg believe prom is already over...its so weird. Last Monday i thought it would never end...teh performances, the prom, everything. and now its all gone and i miss it. But at the same time im looking forward to graduating and getting all my finals over with.

tonight im supposed to be attending the Avenged Sevenfold and Coheed and Cambria concert in Lowell..so I guess I should bring my snorkle and goggles??

peace

So I officially have 14 days of school left...and I dont even think I can make it that far. I still have a paper to write, a book to read and a senior project to...start? Yeah. The musical is this thursday and frieday at 6 both days for anyone whose interested in coming. Its Bye Bye Birdie!!! And Prom is this Saturday!!! SCARY!!! And I heard today that it was supposed to rain...greeeeeeeeeaaat.

Im not as stressed out as I was these past two weeks. I think its because I ve moved on from caring so much and really just dont give a rats ass. Is that good or bad? I really just dont care anymore if I see any of these people ever again. Its horrible. Im such a terrible person and I know its not right but I just could care less right now. Im going away and so is everyone else...and at first it seemed scary but now Im like...on with the show. I need to get away from this cliche high school drama and get out there and meet new people and have new experiences and get a new fucking job!

*sigh* I know this all sounds really harsh but at graduation Im going to be the first one whose eyes well up. Its hypocracy is what it is. WTF I love all you guys your just driving me up a wall!!! Ive spent the past four years with you...I know every little quirk and flaw about you and its given me a twitch in the corner of my eye. CHRIST!!!

And then theres the usual drama I get to listen to constantly. Its never, hey lets surprise Jackie and go visit her for a change. Its OMG MY LIFE IS FALLING APART WHERES JACKIE!? Its not that I dont want to hear your problems...I do. I jsut dont want that to be the only reason you need me anymore. I always am the one to go out of my way to come see you and talk to you and then I get a call and its like Oh, I miss you. And yet you dont do anything about it? If you know Im at work...come down and say HEY! Id appreciate it. But hey, what do I know anyways.

And I know this isnt really the place to gush about my beau...but I simply cant help it. Brian, babycakes...I love you so much. You mean so much to me. I wanted to thank you again for helping out with the set and bringing me pizza when you were tired from work. You truly are the best and I love you so f-cucking much. I may have the fork...but you have my heart. (I know everyone who isnt Brian reading this is vomitting so Ill cut it off here)Smoochas Gracias!!!

peace

So....today I came to the conclusion that of all the good times Ive had in high school...of all the great friends Ive made...today I kinda had a moment, if you will, and just wished I was in college already and cut off from all of it. Seriously. One of my closest friends in school come to find out isnt as close to me as I had thought. I thought I knew everything, because they know everything about me. But I was mistaken. Everything is always about them and the one time I need them to do something for me...God forbid. I think Im just going to take my fabulous prom and dress with my fabulous boyfriend in his fabulous car and just go...where? I have no clue but at least I wont be miserable or caught up in drama and awkward silences and corny jokes that people only laugh at out of pity.

But then I stop and think that I have friends who are having equally, if not, worse, days than I am having that could use a hug or just someone to listen. STOP SECLUDING YOURSELF PIMP DADDY! Talk to me! Please!


peace

It's almost the end of the school year and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with shit that needs to get done: a ten-page paper due on friday, two sets to help put together and paint, AP Exams next Thursday, after that another ten page paper for sociology and my senior project, while balancing prom, two performances of the musical and attending a concert at the same time, and then finally...FINALS!!! and grad rehearsal and scholarship essays all due... and I have only one word for all of this...MEH!

Havent posted in like a year, so heres whats been up.

well, I've been spending the majority of my time with Brian, but we all already knew that. I have rehearsals like crazy from now until the performances, I've been TRYING to go to the gym, but Im thinking that I need to just hold off until I get everything else out of the way. Work sucks, I've officially become Larry's bitch. I dont even get a drawer anymore. I show up, break down, do all of overstock, breakdown peanuts, kool-aid and aisle one, then I either have to do ends or bread, or if Larry's feeling particularly lazy, BOTH! I need a new job...desperately.

College is starting to become a scary reality. The more I go up there the more nervous I get about it. All the "What If's" start pouring out of my mouth and I end up having an anxiety attack. Money is an issue, and even though I've applied for all the scholarships I possibly could, it's still never good enough for my mother. Oh well, what else is new?

I just keep having these thoughts that Im going to the wrong college, but then I think...is this even what I want to do for the rest of my life? who knows. I keep hearing myself tell other people that it doesnt matter what college I go to, but then I go there and I think, is this right?

Who knows. I have a feeling its just my pessimism.

But with the rest of my life I couldn't be happier. I feel like Ive truly found those few friends that I will have forever, and that I've found the person I want to spend the rest of life with. SO on the whole, theres really nothing to complain about other than my own insecurities, which I already bitched about previously.

I wish it was summer and I could see you EVERYday. I cant stand being 25 miles away from you! I love you so much and you mean the world to me. You do so much for me and I feel like Ive never really thanked you for being the best in the world. THANK YOU! Or should I say...Smoochas Gracias!


As for the rest of my friends, Nga we need to go on that raod trip with those random ass people. Me, You, Brian, Bellio, Dave, Luke, Dateo...yesterday at McDonalds was hilarious and a bit of a preview and Im so fucking excited! But considering it's Nga and Jackie planned, it will most likely never happen. Except for Katadhin...we're doing it.

peace

What was supposed to be a day full of love and surprises, turned into a life-threatening experience...

Saturday, February 11th, 2006:

I woke up and made my boyfriend pancakes for breakfast...I then go and check my phone because I hear it making noises at me, only to receive a text message from him telling me that he is now working open to close. WTF!!! I retaliate with a "not-so-nice" text, and then about 5 minutes later he calls to tell me he is out of work and on his way over (IM SO SPOILED!) So I make him MORE pancakes (the originals got fed to the dog out of anger) and my mother must make the coffee because I am otherwise inept. We then proceed to his house where he can change out of MB attire so that I can take him out for a surprise lunch. The plan: go to teh Uno's across the street from the Prudential Center in Boston...the Outcome: spending an afternoon in Emerson Hospital. The Situation: We are driving along Route 2, talking and listening to the MP3 Player and about to reach the rotary in Concord, MA when Lucille's front left tire EXPLODES!!! The car...fishtails; We...almsot crash into a Porshe next to us; the car... ends up in a ditch on the left side of the highway after crashing into the guard-rail and rolling over completely and landing finally on its roof. When I finally stop screaming and open my eyes, I see Brian fall onto the roof after un-doing his seatbelt. I then panic, thinking he is unconscious or even worse... I scream "OMG, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" He turns around saying "We need to get out of the car." OK, I undo my seatbelt without rally thinking to brace myself (I AM haning upside down at this point) and undo my seatbelt and land on my head. OUCH! We then proceed to try to kick out the windows because the two front doors are stuck shut...to no avail. I immediately panic...what is racing through my mind is that there is gasoline leaking somewhere and the car is going to explode with us inside. Brian on the other hand is calm and has crawled into the back seat and trying to get those doors open. I curl up in the fetal and shut my eyes as i hear him telling someone outside the car to break the glass. The reality of the situation starts to sink in. I hear glass break as I see Brian scrambling out of one of the back doors. I start to follow and as I reach for his hands to pull me out I get stuck between the two front seats. (the irony of having a ghetto booty). But he manages to pull me out and we hurry away from teh vehicle. I see that lots of people, I'd say about 8 or 9, have stopped to help us. Blah, blah we go to the hospital, we are fine, we leave. Lucille is now buried in some junk yard in teh niddle of Concord...we shall miss you, old girl. May you be in a better place. *tear*

It's currently first period and I FINALLY finished my damn Anatomy letters. CURSE YOU, MR. MOORE! But anyways...I think I should carry a video camera around with me just for a day to show how damn eventful my life is on a day-to-day basis. If I sent it into some TV company I bet they'd want to make some sort of sitcom out of it, people in the US of A like to sit at home and enjoy and laugh at other people's pain. For example, as I'm driving to school this morning I notice a couple sets of traffic lights to be non-functioning. As I continue toward these intersections, I also notice that the lane that I am in has the right of way because we are going straight, not turning. All the cars infront of me pass through the intersection with ease. As I approach at the same speed and distance as EVERYONE else, cars who are turning and merging decide that NO! We are going to cut Jackie off. Of course! Especially considering that my all-seasons are pretty much bald and we are on a hill and I have no where to go to get out of the way because cars are coming in the opposite direction, AWESOME! Bastards of the road!
But it's ok, I'm over it. Then, as I'm SAFELY driving down John Fitch Highway, my car what? Begins to overheat? Great! So I drove the rest of the way to school without any heat. WHOO!


But at least I had yesterday off in which I did basicall ynothign all day except watch Nip/Tuck, visit Rissa, and go and see my most favorite person in the world whom I love with every fiber of my being and miss already even though I saw him like, 12 hours ago. LOVE!

I'm leaving this hell-hole in about 2 hours to go and get my jaw re-aligned...I hope. Then I have to be back by last period to teach some hardcore AP Chem *gag* and class meeting after that. But I think after all of that transpires I'm going home and taking a 2 hour nap. Why? Because I can, AND because I can spend those 2 hours dreaming of the hottest WPI student there is...and No, it's not Dylan Strebb.

peace

So I'm finally 18, but I don't feel any different. Got some kick ass presents though: leather jacket from my most favorite person in the world, a new purse and a chocolate reindeer(Riss I love you), and some perfume from mi madre. Oh and Nga got me the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, sweetness. So yesterday I decided to treat myself to a present and pierced my belly button...it's a little sore but otherwise it's damn hot.

Anyways... so I spent the weekend driving around with Brian in Betty, who is teh sexiest black Toyota Scion TC I've ever seen. And another plus to the past few days is that the Ice Hockey season has started...WOOT! We won last night 4-2 against Nashoba. The only part that sucks about it is that everyone that was there were "fair weather fans". I think by tomorrow it'll be back to the usual, me, Danielle Galletta, Sarah Hurtle and Sam Mills. But oh well, we always have fun sipping our Dunkin Donuts and wearing our bufandas.

It's my baby's b-day on Saturday!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I'm only sorry that we have to work, but at least we are closing together! *MUAH*

Secret Surprise is being worked on as we speak everyday after school this week as well. I'm excited. I hope Luke is a good teacher!

There was something else I was gonna write but I have no clue what it was anymore, so peace.